I have a foster daughter that is fourteen years old that has daddy issues. Due to lack of a dad figure in her life she seeks male attention from others.
She has lived with me for over two years now and is finally receiving psychological treatment for her behavior but it’s not enough.
Last year, I caught her on her tablet sending nude pictures of herself to another boy her own age. The boy told her many times that he doesn’t like her but that he just wants to have sex with her. She was okay with that as long as she had his attention. She was about to make the biggest mistake in her life. She was planning to have unprotected sex just to get more attention from this boy.
I immediately took away social media access from her due to discovering what she was doing. Finally until this happened the county realized that she needed the help. They made the referral to get her evaluated for treatment. It took almost 9 months for her to receive treatment from a psychologist due to politics.
She has been receiving treatment for two months now. I take her every Thursday for her appointment. I thought we were making progress since it appeared that way. I gave her a cell phone so she can communicate with me after school. I made it very clear that it was to talk to me and her friends that are girls. She agreed.
It’s summer and they’ve been off school three weeks now. I’ve been giving them more freedom since they don’t have school. She has been on her phone more than normal but I’ve noticed her using it for music as an iPod.
On Saturday night I found her on the phone talking to a boy at 11 pm. The only reason I found her is because I saw her room light off and then on and then off again. I was curious as to who was up so late in her room. I confiscated her phone immediately. She was trying to close her apps and I didn’t allow her to. I went through the phone and discovered what she had been up to.
This time it was way worse than before. She had been reaching out to men on Instagram requesting attention from them. She had already sent pictures to them since I could read between the lines. She thought she was smart by deleting the pictures but didn’t realize that content in the conversation proved what she had done. My foster is a tall white girl with blue eyes. She is gorgeous but doesn’t value herself.
I honestly don’t know what to do with her anymore. She played us all. She told her psychologist what she wanted to hear to get her off her back. She had lied into my face about changing her ways. I know she hasn’t had parents in her life but my husband and I are trying to be the best that we can. She has been in the system for over 6 years already and this has affected her self-esteem. She just wants male attention and wants men to crave her but doesn’t know that everything has a consequence. She will end up bringing a child to this world because of her poor decisions and she is only fourteen years old.
How can I protect her from this? I can’t always be there to save her. Once she goes to school other kids will give her access to social media and she can continue her behavior. She will also seek attention in school from boys. Anyone have any suggestions of what else I can to help her? I don’t want her to become a statistic because of her poor decision.
photo credit: http://kids-alliance.org/csec/